Today I walk barefoot for the first time in what I am sure has been eternity. I tentatively feel each and every minute grain of sand as I step on and in it.
Betwixt my toes it finds temporary refuge until my foot falls once more, everything seems appropriately distorted.
The seaweed mingles in the ocean, it looks like television static.
Small waves roll in caressing the shoreline infinitely. You once told me you would love to take a walk with me here,
“especially at sunrise or sunset“, you said.
Those words are imprinted behind my eyelids whenever I am here.
In a private way, I suppose, you are here…. surely the breeze that turns my pages prematurely is composed of the very same air which you have breathed. And that, that is the very stuff of life.
Breathing— I mean
That is intimacy in its epitome
“Kiss me” I whisper, and the words dissolve in front of my very eyes.
Melodic guitar thrums through my headphones and resonates through both hemispheres of my brain. This is how I feel.
This, is how I move.
I am the body of romance, I am the body of love. It is true, what they say about Scorpio’s.
I am laying here in the sand, the sky looks illustrated, illusory. I recall my adolescent self, she is long gone. Misplaced, perhaps. All the carefree smiles and laughter, if I close my eyes I can hear her giggles bathed in sunlight, ocean white noise backing the score.
She is a distant memory played out in flickering super eight.
I want to introduce you to her. Maybe she has been hiding out somewhere in the depths of my depression, despair. Somewhere deep inside my mind, behind some locked door.
Some deity or extravagant ideal probably stole the key when I was that girl. Probably gifted it to you and said “this belongs to your soulmate“, in a dream some twelve years ago. Before my eyes were opened to life’s fragility.
When I looked near death square in the face then blacked out. Carried from ICU to the land of the barely living.
I saw the will to live in the broken moreso than all the nurses, doctors and visitors surrounding them. But everyone’s eyes were red and poured exhaustion.
That was the day my key was stolen.
That was the day my future was gifted to you, and I might sound crazy here but at least I’m not lying.