Oh, I cannot sleep and I feel terribly ill

Please have some little mercy on these shitty, useless bones 

This wondering wandering carapace neigh carcass, somewhat lipid, liquidous creature  

I’m bound up in bed with layers of fabric yet still I feel cold
The tearing in my throat is unforgiving
it’s my tonsils, you see
I was meant to have them removed many years ago during my adenoidectomy, though they weren’t 
and now I suffer occasionally for a week or two with sleepless nights and parched tear ducts 

Sometimes I wake oxygen starved and I beg silently for one more lungful of air
Sometimes I wake drowning in saline rivers, 
the marked torrents breaching their tide lines and flooding my pillow
Sometimes I don’t wake up but I want to
Because I’m having the most vivid nightmares and I swear I can feel the knife as it sinks into my gut and

Rrrrrrrrrrrip

It’s twisted and I’m hoisted ten feet from the ground in a flurry of limbs and curse words and I think I see a rainbow 
I think it’s cast of the fine mist spraying from my wounds
but then it’s all black and all red and I hear some kind of siren but it’s not a rescue siren 
it’s a call to all the sickos out there to get in on the action
So, I’m bleeding out and there is this ancient shibari master and he’s tied me with all sorts of intricate knots
I’m in awe of the art but I’m terrified and the pain is burning all over my icy body
I’m gagged so I can’t scream
I can’t wake up so I’m begging you to rescue me but you don’t
I can see you from where I am hostage, leather jacket and aviators 
God, you’re a good looking guy but you won’t save me
Why won’t you save me?

I guess it’s ’cause you don’t wanna bloody up that nice coat of yours or dirty your shoes 
and I’ll forgive you but you might never see this
battered and broken girl
this fierce and feminine bird
this loyal and loving woman

;again

3 thoughts on “Oh, I cannot sleep and I feel terribly ill

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