I wish I could be like the magnolia that blooms for me on my birthday

See my imposition
How dare I not feel able to stand alone
on my own two feet
How dare I feel grief in singularity
companionship should not feel compulsory, yet so it does
Love is not to be sought,
love is for happening and enveloping
evolving and amplifying

Let me free fall into infinity
maybe, in my descent I’ll find the courage
to let my wings grow strong and bloom
like magnolia blossom when Spring springs
and lift me up, soaring out of that cold depth
toward the suns kind warmth
but maybe I won’t because I feel weak
weak and worthless and sleepy

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